Safety First
by RosalieAnneliese
Summary: The emotional story of Alex's very first caning, and how it forces her to deal with demons from her past. Luckily she has Olivia to help her through it.


Olivia hummed to herself as she sorted through laundry. She had learned years ago to be careful to go through every pocket before putting anything in the machine, ever since her favorite shirt came out of the wash covered in blue ink. Olivia reached into the pocket of Alex's work pants and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. Assuming it was just trash, she glanced at it casually. Then she did a double take. Her heart leapt into her throat as she whipped out her cell phone and sent a quick text to a certain naughty blonde.

'_Get ur butt home ASAP, young lady. –Liv'_

Alex was in the middle of a check-out line when her phone beeped, alerting her that she had received a text message. She felt the blood drain from her face as she read Olivia's words. Instinctively, she reached back to protect her bottom, but immediately stopped when she remembered that she was in public. She blushed, hoping that nobody had seen her. She quickly replied to Olivia's message just as it was her turn to pay for her purchases.

'_Yes, Ma'am. Home in 30 min. Love u, sweetheart. –Alex'_

Yes, it was a cheap shot, but Alex reasoned that trying to butter Olivia up couldn't hurt. Besides, it was just the truth. She did love Olivia. She looked down again when she received yet another message.

'_Love u 2, baby girl. Always. –Liv'_

Alex arrived back at the apartment with grocery bags in each arm. Olivia greeted her at the door with a kiss to her forehead and took one of the bags.

"Do you have frozens?"

"Yes, Ma'am, a few."

"Okay, we don't want those to melt. Lets put this stuff away, and then we need to go to the bedroom and have a little chat."

Within minutes, the groceries were put away and the two women were making their way to the bedroom, Olivia guiding Alex with a gentle hand on her back. When they got there, the sight made Alex stop dead in her tracks, and she started to sob, quickly becoming almost hysterical. There at the end of the bed was the cane and the hairbrush. Lying next to the cane and hairbrush was a piece of paper. It was a speeding ticket that Alex had gotten a week ago and completely forgotten about. Breaking the safety rules was a major offense, and Alex knew she was in serious trouble, but the sight of the cane made her sick. She had experienced the cane before, at the hands of an abusive ex-girlfriend. This was the first time Olivia was going to use it, and Alex was afraid. Never of Olivia, but of the intense pain that she knew was coming, and of the dark memories associated with the wicked implement.

Olivia had expected such a reaction from the pretty blonde, so she was able to remain calm, although Alex's cries broke her heart. Moving swiftly and smoothly, she maneuvered the two of them so that they were both comfy on the bed, leaning against the pillows, Alex wrapped safely in her arms. Before anything else happened, Alex needed to be loved on and reassured in order for any discipline to be effective. Olivia knew about Alex's abusive past, and it had taken a lot of time and effort to get to the point where Alex trusted Olivia with her need for discipline. Olivia tenderly stroked Alex's long blonde hair and spoke lovingly into her ear.

"You're okay, angel, I promise. You're perfectly safe, right here in my arms. Just breathe, baby love. I am right here for you. I am right here and I am not going anywhere. I would never, _ever_ hurt you, sweetheart, you know that. You are my good girl and I love you so, _so_ much, honey. This isn't going to kill you, darling; it's just going to teach you a very important lesson about being safe behind the wheel. Soon this will be all over and I'll hold you for the rest of the day if that's what you need, princess."

Olivia peppered her speech with terms of endearment, hoping to convey just how much she loved Alex. She repeated these sentiments until Alex's tears slowed to a trickle and finally stopped. Alex was grateful to Olivia for taking the time to love on her before handing down the much deserved punishment. It helped remind Alex that even though she was in trouble, she was safe and loved. Yes, the punishment would hurt her bottom. Yes, she would be sleeping on her stomach for a few nights. But she had a strong, loving, attentive Top to support her through it. It helped her remember that it was Olivia that was with her, not Abbie. Olivia was nothing like Abbie.

Abbie was an angry disciplinarian who turned to the cane for the smallest of offenses. Abbie yelled, cursed, and slapped Alex across the face if Alex tried to defend her behavior. Abbie never told Alex that she was a good girl or praised her for taking her punishment well. She refused to hold or comfort Alex after a punishment. So many times Alex lay on their bed, sobbing and broken, while Abbie simply got up and left the room without so much as a second glance back. The night that Alex finally got the courage to leave, Abbie had even drawn blood.

Then, like a breath of fresh air, Olivia came into Alex's life and showed her what a loving, caring Top was supposed to be. Not that Olivia was perfect, but in Alex's opinion she was pretty damn close.

Olivia was a calm and authoritative disciplinarian who used a variety of implements depending on the severity of the offense. Olivia could deliver one hell of a scolding or lecture, but she never raised her voice and she never made Alex feel like she was worthless, stupid, or unloved. Olivia always afforded Alex the opportunity to explain herself. It didn't mean that the punishment would be lifted, but if Alex felt that she had a legitimate excuse for her behavior, Olivia was willing to hear her out and discuss it with her. She constantly told Alex that she was a good girl for taking her punishment bravely. And no matter what, whether it was a firm hand spanking or a strict belting, Olivia _always_ cuddled and babied Alex for as long as she needed her to after the punishment was over. Alex was a strong woman and didn't always like being babied, but after the pain of a good spanking, she relished it.

Alex's thoughts returned to the present, and she looked up at Olivia. Her Olivia, so strong and loving and kind. Her Olivia, who would never hurt or betray her.

"I'm ready, Ma'am."

Olivia kissed Alex's forehead. She allowed Alex to stay curled up in her arms as she reached over and picked up the ticket from the bed.

"All right, young lady, lets talk about this. This concerns me very much. You can't speed, sweetheart, no matter what. It's so dangerous. You could be seriously hurt or even killed. I would be crushed if I lost you, baby. And on top of that, you didn't tell me about this. The only reason I found out is because I was doing the laundry and I found the ticket in your pocket."

"I wasn't deliberately hiding it from you, Ma'am! I swear it! I was late for work and a cop pulled me over. I put the ticket in my pocket and then Donnelly called my cell, yelling at me over some paperwork that needed to be filed, and I just forgot about the ticket! I wasn't trying to hide it from you! I _know_ what hiding things from you earns me!"

Olivia could tell by the tone of Alex's voice and the look in her eyes that she was telling the truth. Alex was never a very good liar and Olivia, being a detective, could sniff out a lie a mile away. Olivia stroked Alex's hair to calm her.

"Calm down, my love. I believe you. Everybody forgets things sometimes. That's okay. My main concern here is that you were speeding and that is _not safe_. Do you understand why we have the safety rules?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Because you love me and you don't want anything to happen to me."

"That's right, angel. So here's what we're going to do. I'm afraid you've earned yourself a good, hard spanking, and in just a minute I'm going to put you over my knee and spank your bottom with the hairbrush. Then we will finish off with ten licks of the cane. Normally I would give you twenty licks for breaking one of the safety rules, and if you ever get another ticket, I will. The only reason I'm not giving you the full twenty today is because it's your first time getting the cane from me and I know how scared you are, so you can consider this a warning. Do you understand, lovey?"

"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you." Alex wanted Olivia to know that she was grateful for Olivia's mercy.

"Good girl. Do you need me to hold you some more or do you think you are ready to get this over with?"

"I- do we- can I-…" Alex fumbled with her words; finally she simply blushed and lowered her eyes silently. Olivia kissed her forehead again.

"It's all right, sweetie, speak your mind. I want to know what is going through your head at all times. Communication is important."

"I… um… you'll hold me afterwards?" Alex knew full well that Olivia would hold her afterwards. She just needed that extra reassurance, and Olivia gladly gave it to her.

"I promise, the second we're done, you'll be in my arms, baby. Just the same as always."

"I'm ready, Ma'am."

"That's my brave girl. Up on your feet, please. Let's get those jeans and panties down."

Alex stood up. Olivia pulled down her jeans and panties and gently guided Alex over her lap. Alex tried to settle in as comfortably as possible, knowing that this was not going to be a short ordeal. After a thorough warm-up with Olivia's hand that left Alex's bottom warm to the touch and glowing a deep shade of pink, Olivia reached over and picked up the wooden hairbrush. Alex tensed when she felt the movement, and Olivia gently patted her bottom.

"No clenching, sweetheart. Not allowed, you know that. Relax back here, please."

Alex obediently relaxed her bottom muscles, and Olivia brought the hairbrush down hard. Alex cried and sobbed her way through her spanking and grabbed hold of the bed sheets to keep herself from reaching back to cover her bottom. She knew that reaching back meant extra swats on the backs of her thighs with the wooden spoon, and she didn't want that. Finally Olivia put down the hairbrush and gently rubbed the small of Alex's back to help calm her. She was so proud of Alex for not reaching back, and told her so.

"I'm so proud of you for taking that so well, my love. When you're ready you can get up and get a cuddle. No rush, we have plenty of time, sweetie."

They normally did not stop to cuddle in the middle of a spanking. Normally, they pushed through to the end, and then cuddled when the spanking was over. But this was not a normal situation. Alex was about to undergo something that frightened her, something that would force her to face her demons, and Olivia was willing to spend as much time as necessary giving Alex extra doses of love to support her through it. Alex wasn't about to decline the offer of comfort, so after a few moments she pushed herself up from Olivia's lap and crawled back into the safety of Olivia's arms. From her place on Olivia's lap, Alex could see the cane lying at the end of the bed, and she buried her face in Olivia's chest so she wouldn't have to look at it. Olivia reached over and picked up the cane.

"Here, baby, do you want to hold it for a minute? See, sweetheart? It's just a simple piece of rattan, nothing more. It's going to sting your bottom and hopefully teach you a good lesson that you'll remember for a while, but that's all. I am not going to draw blood, and I would never use this anywhere other than the cushiony part of your bottom that is designed to handle it, honey."

Olivia tenderly patted the cushiony part of Alex's bottom that she had just indicated. It was warm to the touch. Alex was by no means fat, but she did have plenty of padding to absorb the smacks of a spanking.

"Okay, princess, stand on up so I can put these pillows together. We're almost done."

Alex reluctantly obeyed, still crying. She clasped her hands together tightly in front of her so she wouldn't be tempted to rub her bottom. That was not allowed. Olivia stacked the pillows in the middle of the bed and tapped the center of the pillows with the cane.

"Lay down for me, baby girl. Put your bottom right here. You can hold onto this pillow so you aren't tempted to reach back. I don't want to have to give you extra swats. Good girl."

"Livy… please… forgive…" Alex sobbed when she felt Olivia reach over to lovingly stroke her hair. Olivia's heart broke as she looked down at her poor little Alex lying on the bed waiting obediently to take her punishment. Normally Olivia required Alex to address her as 'Ma'am' during a spanking and would scold her if she didn't, but this once she let it slide. Alex calling Olivia 'Livy' meant that Alex was distressed and needed comfort, and Olivia wasn't about to scold her for wanting to be comforted.

"Oh, yes, my love, you are forgiven. You are forgiven. I forgave you before I even put you over my knee, angel. It's almost over, baby. We're almost done. Just hang on a few more minutes and then I'll hold you. I'm so proud of you, princess."

Even as Alex screamed with the first lick of the cane on her already spanked bottom, her heart soared. She was forgiven. Olivia forgave her. There was no such thing as having to earn Olivia's forgiveness because Olivia gave it freely. The simple fact that Olivia forgave her made this whole ordeal worth it.

Well, kind of. Alex had no intention of ever coming into contact with that wicked cane ever again, and if she thought she could get away with it, she would gladly throw the stupid thing out! Alex buried her face deeper into the pillow she was clutching and struggled not to kick her feet. She screamed and sobbed. Olivia was sure that the neighbor downstairs was wondering what the hell was going on, but she wasn't about to try and make Alex stop screaming. Alex needed to let her emotions out, and if she needed to scream then she could scream.

As soon as the tenth and final lick landed, Olivia threw down the cane as if it had burned her and kicked it under the bed out of sight. Alex had long since stopped screaming and was simply wailing helplessly, lying limply over the pillows. Olivia doubted if she even realized that the punishment was over, she was so far gone. Olivia arranged them so that they were once again comfy on the bed, keeping everything about her body language and tone of voice very tender and loving, and she just held Alex, waiting patiently for her sweet girl to come back to her, fully prepared to hold Alex for the rest of the weekend if that's what she wanted. Olivia carefully inspected Alex's bottom. Although it was dark red and there were crimson ridges where the cane had been and there would probably be a little bruising, Olivia had stayed true to her word and had not drawn blood.

Alex's hand flew down to her bottom to feel the ridges that the cane had left. Olivia very gently reached down and took Alex's hand in her own, tenderly kissing her palm. Alex was not allowed to rub her bottom after a spanking. She could cry, get cuddles and hugs, scream, jump up and down, pull Olivia's hair, anything she needed to find comfort in that moment, but she was not allowed to rub. Normally, reaching back to rub would earn Alex extra swats with the wooden spoon, but there was no way in hell that Olivia was going to do that to her right now. Alex had just endured a hard hairbrushing _and_ a caning without so much as a complaint or begging for it to be over. Her poor baby didn't need anymore punishment. She needed to be held, cuddled, and loved on. Olivia tenderly cuddled Alex close to her heart, cooing into her ear as one would speak to a small child, given her emotional state.

"There's my brave girl. Livy's got you, baby. Yes she does. It's all over, angel. All over. Livy knows it hurts, precious. You go right ahead and have a good cry, baby girl. Cry it all out, my love. Such a good girl. Shhhhhhhhh."

Alex was convinced that she would never be able to sit again. She could kiss her career goodbye because sitting through court was now a distant memory. She wasn't even aware that she had reached back; her whole world right now was PAIN. Her bottom throbbed and ached, and her throat was sore from screaming. She was vaguely aware that Olivia was talking to her, but she was too wrapped up in her own emotions to make out anything that was being said. She simply clung to Olivia for dear life. Memories of Abbie threatened to invade her mind and she tried to fight them off. Abbie was in jail and couldn't hurt her anymore. She was Olivia's now. She was Olivia's good girl.

Suddenly, Alex reached down toward her legs, still shaking with emotion. Olivia understood what she wanted and assisted her in completely removing her jeans and panties from around her ankles. Olivia even helped her out of her t-shirt and bra. Olivia tenderly rubbed Alex's bare back and shoulders as Alex shivered a little from the cool air.

"I'm not letting go, lovey, I'm just going to reach over you and grab my sweatshirt for you to wear. Would you like that? Hmm? Would you like to wear Livy's sweatshirt?"

Alex nodded weakly. She loved to wear Olivia's NYPD sweatshirt. It was too big for her, but she loved it because it smelled like Olivia. Whenever Olivia was called on a case in the middle of the night, Alex would put on Olivia's sweatshirt before she went back to sleep, so it was like Olivia was still lying next to her.

When Alex started to cough, Olivia was glad that she had thought to put a glass of ice water on their bedside table before Alex had arrived home. She reached over and picked it up and gently brought it to Alex's dry lips. Most of the ice was melted by now, but it was still cold. Olivia reached up underneath the sweatshirt and gently rubbed Alex's bare back. The skin-to-skin contact was important.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Slow sips. Nice and refreshing. That's a good girl." Alex drained the entire glass. Getting a spanking was hard work and she was thirsty.

"Livy?" Alex's voice was very soft. Olivia lowered her tone to match it.

"Yes, angel?"

"I'm sorry. I won't be bad anymore."

"Oh, baby, you _aren't_ bad. You are my _good girl_. There is nothing about you that is bad. You did a naughty thing and I had to correct your behavior, but it is your _behavior_ that was naughty. _You_ are my _good girl_. Do you understand the difference?"

"Yes." Alex knew she didn't have to call Olivia 'Ma'am' anymore. The punishment was over. She was still calling Olivia 'Livy', though, indicating that she was still in a vulnerable frame of mind and wasn't ready to be her usual kick-ass self yet. Olivia knew that it would take Alex a while to bounce back from this punishment, but that was fine with her. They had nowhere that they needed to be. They could take their time with this until Alex felt like getting up from the bed, whether it was in the next ten minutes or the next four hours.

Alex never did decide she was ready to get up from the bed, because she soon fell asleep in Olivia's arms despite the pain in her bottom. Olivia just watched her sleep and thanked God that Alex was in her life, and grateful that an important day in Alex's fight against Abbie's ghost was behind them.


End file.
